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want the

surgery. I

held her

hand as a

needle was

inserted

into her

arm. In a

few

seconds

her tears

stopped

and she

closed

those eyes

that had

always

seemed so

clever and

clear, but

now looked

so

fearful.

Feeling

frantic

and

disconnected

I kissed

her, and

then she

was

wheeled

away

through

the

unforgiving

doors of

the

operating

suite. I

spent the

day in the

waiting

room

polishing

a

manuscript

whose only

significance

was its